Endangered? Almost Extinct?

Camp Pendleton Del Mar Beach

This past summer our family went to the beach.  We enjoy going to the beach.  This particular time we went to the Del Mar Beach on Camp Pendleton in Oceanside, California.  It was later in the afternoon and the beach wasn't very crowded.  I went for a little walk along the water.  The waves were crashing at my feet as I walked.  I observed children and families playing, building sand sculptures, boogie boarding, looking for seashells and just generally having a good time.  As I walked further along the sand I came to a portion of the beach where we weren't "allowed" to go any further.  I discovered it was a protected area for some birds.  These weren't just any birds.  They were birds that are on the endangered species list - the California Least Tern. (Side note: That section of beach is also used for training exercises during certain parts of the year when it's not being used as a breeding ground for these endangered birds.)

California Least Tern 

As I turned around and began walking back to our beach area I thought to myself, "That's fantastic that they provide a place for these little birds to be protected so that they don't become extinct." As I was talking to my husband about this I told him, "I think this could be a great idea for a blog post." I'm sure he was wondering what does a beach, birds and a protected area have to do with anything worth reading about on a blog?  Well, let me tell you.

Notice how there are a lot of things that USED to be around but are now extinct?  Dinosaurs. When is the last time anyone has seen a dinosaur (and I'm not talking about your great, great, great grandparent!)?  Woolly Mammoths. They're extinct.  And those poor little Dodo birds (yes, they were real birds that DID exist!).....last one died in 1681.

What about the TELEPHONE?  You know, the one hooked to the wall?  The one that you had to stand next to the phone while talking to someone because it wasn't a cordless phone? 

Oh never mind.
Here's a picture:

Yep - "back in the day" we had to actually sit down and TALK to the other person.  We didn't really have anything to distract us because we couldn't go too far from the phone if our cord wasn't very long.  We were able to spend time yakking about anything and everything.  We laughed out loud (LITERALLY - and we didn't say LOL, we actually LAUGHED TOGETHER). We talked about the guy we liked. My girlfriends and I would decide what to wear to the next school dance as we TALKED on the phone.

We didn't have cellphones so we weren't able to text each other. We actually had to literally pick up the phone, dial the number and hear each other's voices when we wanted to communicate to another person.  Imagine that!  I remember having to hide under my covers at night when this cute boy I liked called me and my mom would yell "Debbie! Hang up the phone!" I had a phone in my room so I would hide myself under the blankets while talking to Rudy for hours....until I got caught, darn it! No texting.....all talking!

Internet service....finally!

"I have service now, too!"

Our family went on a family trip this past summer.  We drove from California to Idaho to Colorado. There was a stretch between Idaho and Colorado where there was NO phone or Internet reception. Our children were going crazy! One son was so frustrated that he "cussed out" our phone service (just to us - not actually to Sprint) and wanted to throw his cellphone out the window.  When we finally got to a place where there was Internet service you would think our family had just discovered GOLD!  Everyone was so happy to be able to check Facebook, snapchat, Instagram, Twitter and whatever other social media outlet there was.  I have a picture of our family at the restaurant (posted above)....everyone was on their cellphone on social media. I had to laugh because NO ONE was talking to each other...everyone was on social media. It's like we were all there but no one was there all at the same time.


What about the art of letter writing?  Now with Facebook there doesn't seem to be a "need" or even a "desire" to sit down and communicate with someone the "old fashion way".  When we couldn't call someone (maybe it was too expensive to make calls 'back in the day' or the other person didn't have a phone) we would WRITE A LETTER or send a note. Can you imagine opening your mailbox and only getting bills or junk mail everyday? That could get depressing. Every year for the past 24 years for my birthday I knew no matter what happened, no matter who DIDN'T remember my birthday I would get a birthday card IN THE MAIL from my mother-in-law. With her declining health, that has since stopped, however, without fail, on my birthday (or a day or two before or after) I would get a lovely card from her. She has no idea how much that meant to me to not only be remembered but for her to actually take the time to get, write and send a card to me.

Endangered birds....

The art of communication. It is on the verge of extinction. It is an "endangered species".  It seems like people just don't communicate like they used to.  Is it any wonder that many people actually feel ALONE?  As much as this new technology can bring us together....across the country, across oceans....it also has the ability to put communication, ACTUAL COMMUNICATION, on the endangered species list.  So, put down your cellphone, turn off your social media and pick up a pen and write a letter to someone or pick up your phone and CALL someone.  Don't text, but CALL them. Go visit an old friend, rekindle a relationship with a friend you haven't seen in ages or simply sit around the dinner table or in the family room and chat with your family or play a game. You will NEVER be ALONE when you are communicating with others....REAL communication.

You are NEVER ALONE.....except when you are in a room filled with people and they're all on social media.  Let's NOT let communication become like the California Least Tern (endangered) or worse....like the Woolly Mammoth and become extinct.

Love to you all,
Debbie

P.S. Give me a call or send me a letter!! Let's communicate!! ;)

Everybody has a story

I LOVE to read.  I love to put myself in the setting or realm of some of the characters I read about. I'm more into mystery, detective romance stories.  I mean, really, what girl doesn't dream about the man that saves her from her kidnappers and they fall in love and live happily ever after?!  He searches the world over and knows what the villains are up to and even predicts their next move before THEY do!  Then suddenly, bam! He races in and saves the day!

The details fascinate me.  The authors usually have some sort of connection to the topic or field of knowledge they pursue in their writing.  I've read books by retired judges, police officers, military spouses, teachers and even plain, old everyday people that just have GREAT imaginations.  It never ceases to amaze me what these authors come up with.  I've read books (most are fictional) where a child has been abducted and some new, start up detective partners up with law enforcement and he, with little to no experience, solves the case, finds the child, single handedly takes down the bad guy and then ends up with the best looking cop on the planet and they sail off into the sunset together. Sigh....be still my heart.

But alas, eventually I have to step back into reality.  I have to put the book(s) down and be me - Debbie - wife - mom - friend - worker - daughter - sister - neighbor.  It's not so bad.  I rather enjoy my life.  As much as I would LOVE the adventure, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be a Kate Beckett with her hot Richard Castle sidekick, turned lover, turned husband.  My adventure would probably resemble more of Lucy and her sidekick, Ethel.  I can see me now in that chocolate factory wrapping candy and having that conveyor belt going crazy and me fighting with the chocolate and having to stuff some in my mouth.  Ok, let's be real here. That's probably more of a DREAM of mine than a "bad adventure".

Then there's the stories of others.  The stories we know nothing about.  The real life stories.....

I recently had a short term subbing position at an elementary school.  I was able to work with many students.  I recall one morning I was assisting a young boy that just did NOT want to do anything. He had a scowl on his face and was just giving me grief.  I remember sitting close enough to him to smell his body odor...and it wasn't a pleasant smell.  I wondered to myself, "Man! I wonder what kind of home-life he has."  I kind of felt bad for him and yet part of me was being judgmental thinking he should take better care of his hygiene and change his attitude, too.

Later that day I talked to an adult that knew his story.  She told me that his mom worked a hard job that took her out of the home a lot. The older siblings took care of him and she knew nothing about a dad in the mix.  He usually had a pop tart for breakfast and mac and cheese for dinner.  Then she told me, "His mom is awesome. She loves him and supports him in everything. She does her best with what she has."  I felt substantially chastised....not by this person, but rather chastised by myself!  I realized that EVERYBODY HAS A STORY.

Sometimes we are so busy judging a book by it's cover that we don't take the time to open it and read. It takes effort to read a book/story.  It takes time.  Sometimes it doesn't start getting good until you're in about 20-30 pages.  Can you imagine what YOUR life would be like if someone just looked at your cover and didn't take the time to "read" your story?

What I learned this short time I was subbing at this school is EVERYBODY has a story.  Every character in their story is REAL. There's no fiction.  It's real life.  I've learned that some books need to be opened and browsed a little before we decide to read it or discard it.

I hope we will each take the time to learn someone's story.  You may feel alone along the path of life as your story is being written.  You may feel like no one cares.  You may truly feel alone.  Just always remember, you're NEVER ALONE.  There really is someone out there writing their story, perhaps feeling alone. But I believe if you opened your book to someone and compared chapters, you would find that you share similar feelings. We are NEVER ALONE because someone, somewhere is writing a similar story to yours, feeling the same thing....just in a different part of the world.

Keep writing your story, friends.  We may not be able to change our past chapters but we can help each other along the way to writing a better, happier 'next' chapter and obtain our own "happily every after".

Love to you all!
Debbie

The Green Dress

A few weeks ago I gave a talk in church.  I've modified it here to make it more of a "non-denominational" message.

Miss Orange County crown and plaque (the sash was too
tarnished and beat up for a picture. But I still have it!)

About 28 years ago I competed in and won a local pageant - Miss Orange County.  With that win, part of my prize package was my paid entry into the Miss California pageant (that would take place that fall), my interview outfit, some other clothing and best of all was my very own custom made evening gown.  My gown was made by a top Beverly Hills designer.  It was BEAUTIFUL.....form fitting in the front with sparkly "stuff" sewn all over it and rhinestone trim around the sleeves and neckline and then a flowing "train" type of back.  I even had 4" heels that were dyed to match my dress!

My evening gown

When it came pageant time, I loaded up my little Honda Accord and headed an hour and a half to the beautiful city of Palm Springs, California....just me and my green dress.  I showed up by myself, found my room and roommate and got ready for the week long festivities.  It was a wonderful week!

My 4" heels

Pageant night - all of the contestants, all 111 of us, were getting ready.  Everyone was taking care of getting themselves ready.  I did my own hair and make up. I had my beautiful green dress on and I felt like a million bucks!  I felt beautiful in my one-of-a-kind dress.  I didn't have any family or friends in attendance -- I don't know why....maybe they didn't think I could win or it was too far to drive???  Let's go with the "too far to drive" reason. ;)

After the pageant was over, there was an after party.  This was where we were able to have our friends and family come back and visit with us and tell us how beautiful we looked and what a wonderful job we did, etc.  I had no one.  The next morning I packed my little Honda Accord back up again and headed home...just me and my green dress. I resumed life "as usual".

My  white "Cinderella" wedding
gown

Now, fast forward three years......It's the morning of my wedding day. My maid of honor and close friend, Cyndi, helped me with my hair and make up.  I wore my beautiful, white wedding gown.  I felt like a modern day Cinderella!  When my soon-to-be-husband and I walked into the room for our wedding ceremony it was FILLED with family and loved ones!  Around 70 to 80 people were there, and that was just for the ceremony.....we're not even talking about the reception - that was an additional 250 to 300 MORE people who came to congratulate us and tell us how happy they were for us.

Right before the officiator began the ceremony he asked Don and me if we had anything to say.  I said, "Every girl dreams about this day and Don has made my dream come true!"

I'm sure girls dream about being crowned Miss California but I'd be willing to bet that more girls dream about their wedding day than they do a pageant day.  As beautiful as I felt in my green dress, nothing compared to my white, wedding dress.

I was never taught in church how to walk in 4" heels or how to walk down stairs while looking OUT at the crowd and the judges (instead of looking down to make sure I didn't trip!).  I never learned in any of my youth group classes how to talk to a judge and give an answer that would make me stand out or how to walk with my shoulders back and my head up.

Our special day....in my white
dress and Don looking fabulous
in his white tux!

I WAS taught to read my scriptures, to pray daily, to feed my soul with spiritual things, and to love others.  I was taught the scriptures and the meaning of the parables. I was taught to try to "be like Jesus".  I was taught that the things of the world weren't nearly as important as the things of God....and when you compare the green dress experience with the white dress experience, it really makes sense.

I didn't have the love and support at the Miss California pageant as I did on my wedding day.  Oh sure, my friends and family wished me well as I took off to the pageant and I'm sure they would have LOVED to see me win. However, there was more love and support on my wedding day.  People traveled from near and far to be there. I'm sure some just showed up to see if it was REALLY happening....Debbie Johnson getting married?!?!  It was a wonderful feeling to see so many friends and family in attendance on our special day giving us their love and support.

Eternal reward....no comparison

As much as I would have loved to have been crowned Miss California, my reward in Heaven, to be crowned with glory and eternal life with my Heavenly Father and his son, Jesus Christ, far out weigh the worldly benefits that being crowned Miss California would have brought.  When we put the things of God first, the rewards are far better than anything this life can bring.  So, enjoy the green dress, but remember...it is temporary.  The white dress, and all it symbolizes, points to God.

Whether you're wearing the green dress or the white dress, just know that you are loved, you are being cheered on by someone, somewhere because you are NEVER ALONE. Sometimes the love is more tangible (white dress experience) but regardless, whichever dress you wear, you are NEVER ALONE.

Love,

Debbie

Mountain vs molehill

I was told recently that I make a mountain out of a molehill.  That got me to thinking....one man's trash is another man's treasure, so the saying goes.  What one considers a molehill may very well be a mountain to someone else.

I have tried on many occasions to water ski.  To no avail.  My body just refuses to get up on those two pieces of fiberglass and balance itself across the water.  Then there's my husband.  Give him a ski and there he goes!  Ski away honey!  Ski away! (Well, that was 'back in the day'....let's see what his body does NOW. ;) ).  For him, it's a molehill. Wham, bam and done.  For me, I'm still trying to climb that mountain. 

I was just reading a book last night.  One of the characters is answering her phone and all the caller can hear in the background is a fire alarm and lots of noise.  He asks her what's going on.  A moment later it's silent.  He yells, "Are you still there?  Is everything ok?"  She calmly says, "Yes, everything is fine."  He asks her what happened and why it's suddenly so quiet.  She explains, "I was baking bread and burned it AGAIN. The noise stopped because I went outside to get away from it."

Mt. Egmont, New Zealand - photo by Michael A. Stecker

Obviously baking bread is a MOUNTAIN for that character.  It would be a molehill for me.  I mean really, just follow the directions, put it in the oven and wham - 30 mins or so later you've got yourself some homemade bread.  Also, notice how she stepped away from her "mountain" for a moment?  She was going to go back in and face it and maybe even some day she would CLIMB that mountain by baking her first loaf of bread without the fire alarm going off.

Your perspective of a mountain vs a molehill may be COMPLETELY different to someone else. For instance, I enjoy running.  I run 5k's and even 10k's on occasion.  I've done a few half marathons, too (13.1 miles). When I think of running a FULL marathon my knees start to hurt and I lose my nerve to sign up.  I have friends that run full marathons (26.2 miles) and think nothing of it.  A molehill for them, right?  Well, there is MY MOUNTAIN.  I haven't ruled it out completely so I'm still dancing around that 'mountain'.

I could go on listing the differences between mountains and molehills but I think you get my drift. Who am I to tell you that your mountain is really a molehill and you need to get over it?  

Kind of like flies.  You've heard the joke, "Waiter! What is this fly doing in my soup?!"  The waiter responds, "The back stroke."  Of course it's a joke but if you pick it apart....the waiter didn't seem to see the problem with a fly in the soup.  It's just a tiny little thing.  Get over it.  Flick it out of your bowl and move on.  To the customer, that fly ruined his meal (for the record....I'm with the customer on this one!).  A fly to an elephant or a horse? Swat it away with it's tail IF he even knows the fly is there.  To us?  One fly buzzing around our picnic can ruin the whole thing.  We will spend a lot of time to rid ourselves of that fly....waiving our arms around wildly, covering our food and protecting it like it's the Hope Diamond.  We obviously deal with flies different than an elephant or horse does.

"What are you saying with all of this, Debbie?"  I'm just reminding each of us to remember that one man's mountain is another man's molehill.  You may not mind the flies buzzing around you but it may bug the heck out of someone else.  We just need to be there to uplift and support each other on our climb....whether it's climbing that mountain or stepping over that molehill.  You never know how many molehills a person has faced or what mountains they have ALREADY climbed.  And when you think you're alone (and sometimes you just may very well be alone) always remember that there's probably someone out there climbing that same mountain, struggling along the way thinking they're alone.  We are NEVER really ALONE.  I truly dislike the saying, "When you think life is hard, remember, there's someone worse off than you."  Like THAT'S supposed to make ME feel BETTER?! Instead, I like to think, "When I'm feeling alone, I'm probably not.  There's probably someone out there climbing this mountain WITH me - probably on the other side....and we've got this TOGETHER.....because we are NEVER ALONE."

Love,

Debbie

P.S.  Maybe I'll finally climb that mountain by getting up on those water skis or actually signing up and running in a marathon.....some day.  Some day.

Shine Through Adversity

Deb and Don

It's a beautiful summer day in Utah.  We are visiting there for a week while one of our boys is at a youth camp.  My husband and I enjoy the outdoors so we decided to go for a little hike.  We were told this was a "family friendly" hike and it wouldn't be too strenuous.  I don't mind a good work out but an "easy" hike sounded fun since I haven't been to the gym most of the summer (Hello! It's summer! Who has time for THAT, right?).

So, my husband reads up about a place called Donut Falls out toward Brighton Ski Village and off we go!  He told me that this place is visited by hundreds of people just about daily.  We would be lucky to find a parking spot.  Well, as luck would have it....we DID find a parking spot that didn't require us to walk a few miles before the REAL hike began.

Cute little chipmunk!

As we're walking we are passing families and young couples and even a group of girls with some leaders - so we're guessing it was a church girls camp event.  In any case, there were  A LOT of people and we weren't even at the "falls" part yet.  As we were hiking the trail we were able to admire the beauty around us.  We saw a cute little chipmunk as well as many, many, many annoying insects.

Donut Falls

When we finally arrived at the falls, it was over populated with people.  We had to cross the water, which was pretty easy, to get to the other side in order to start our climb up to the actual "donut" part (that name alone makes me hungry!).  I told my husband that there were too many people to enjoy the climb so we just sat and people watched and admired the beauty around us.

After a few minutes we decided that we had better leave because soon all those people we passed would be right here, too.  That would make this crowded place even MORE crowded.  We took a different path back down and eventually ended up on the single trail that would lead us back to our car.

You may be thinking, "That's a lot of unimportant stuff she just shared with us.  What was the purpose?"  I'm glad you asked!

You see, on the way back down - once we got back to the main path that everyone takes to get up to the falls (the hundreds of people daily) - I noticed something that I didn't notice before. There were a lot of rocks.  As we kept walking down the trail I noticed some rocks were shiny and some weren't.  I noticed some rocks were still below the surface trying to break through but the parts that were above ground were shiny.

That's when it came to me.  I'm sure someone will come up with the scientific reasoning as to why, how and what.  But, since this is my blog, I'm going to share with you MY thoughts and how it applies to my life - and since we're NEVER ALONE, I'm sure it will apply to many of you and your lives as well. :)

The "dull" rock on the side of
the trail

The rock close to the middle and
yet, not close enough to get
stepped on much

This first rock is along the SIDE of the path.  It doesn't appear to get stepped on very often, if at all. It is dull, with no shine to it at all.  Then there's this other rock I noticed.  It isn't as dull as the first rock but not as shiny as some of the others I had noticed.  It wasn't in the middle of the trail but near enough that it could be stepped on, just not as often as some of the others.  A little further down the trail I see a shiny rock with it's "head" poking through the dirt.  It is in the middle of the trail where I'm sure it gets stepped on frequently.  In fact, I even stepped on it!  Then I walk a little further and see a bunch of bigger rocks in the middle of the trail.  You basically HAVE to walk ON them in order to stay on the trail.  These rocks are in the ground and yet, above the ground and the parts that are showing are shiny.

The rock shining and breaking
through!

That's when my "ah ha" moment hit me.  We are like those rocks.  If we sit on the side of the trail of life, people may not notice us.  They may pass by without a second thought.  We will remain as we are.  Or we can be those rocks in the MIDDLE OF THE TRAIL.  Those rocks that get stepped on.  Those rocks that face adversity and RISE ABOVE IT.  Those rocks that are shining through the dirt that has been thrown at them or packed on them....and yet still keep fighting to stay above the ground.  They are shiny because of the people that have stepped on them....THE ADVERSITY THEY HAVE OVERCOME. I'm willing to bet that some of those shiny rocks have even HELPED some people along the way. Perhaps at one point they are used as a marker so the weary hiker knows, "When I see that rock I'll know I'm almost down the mountain" or the rock that gave a foothold to the hiker that needed a little boost.

So you see, as we stay in the middle of the road of life we may get stepped on.  We may have people even try and push us down further into the ground only to push themselves ahead of you.  How we respond to that adversity will determine how bright we shine.  It may take some time but eventually we will shine!  Or, we can remain on the side of the road, perhaps unnoticed and ignored, and never shine, never be who or what we could have been had we only stepped away from the side and walked the path and faced adversity head on, knowing we had it within us to keep fighting to stay on top and eventually SHINE.  

More shiny rocks

One of the bigger shiny rocks

 May we each continue to shine through the adversity we face as we keep striving to remain above ground.  And may we always know that we are NEVER ALONE on the trail of life.

Debbie

Introduction

As I sit here I reflect on why I'm here and what I'm doing.  I wonder why it's taken me this long to finally sit down and start a blog.  Many nights I lay awake with ideas and thoughts running through my head.  I feel that I'm the ONLY ONE with doubts, loneliness, fears, heartache - happiness, love, laughter...the list goes on.  Then I think to myself, "With the billions of people in this world, there's no way I'm the only one feeling this way or thinking this thought."  I remember all the times I've posted something on Facebook (I'm somewhat of an open book - nothing to hide...mostly) only to have MANY people respond saying "Thank you for posting that! I thought I was the only one going through that or feeling that way".  That's when this idea for a blog started forming in my mind, over a year ago.


I'm no expert, by any means.  The things I will be submitting on this blog are things I've experienced or ideas I've had....but I'm pretty sure I won't be alone in my thoughts.  I'm your average 49 year old woman.  I've been married to the same man for 25 years and we have 3 wonderful (not perfect) children.  I am a woman of God and a lover of happiness - albeit, I'm no Pollyanna.  I've had my share of bad days - self inflicted or by the hand (or words) of others.  I'm not here to paint a pretty picture pretending my life is full of unicorns and rainbows.  However, I'm not here to wallow in self pity and invite you readers to any pity party.  I'm here to share my thoughts and experiences with you.  We will laugh together and perhaps even cry together.  Either way, we'll do it together, because we are never alone. :)


I'm new at this blogging scene but hope others will find that they are "Never Alone" as they read my posts.  In being "Never Alone" that could mean A LOT of things.  If you are a person of faith, it could mean God is always with you.  If you are a mother of babies, toddlers, teens or adults, it could mean you connect with other mom's in the same station in life.  If you are a parent of a way ward child, it could mean you have someone there helping you navigate through this difficult time.  If you are a caregiver of a special needs child or an aging parent it could mean you have loved ones around you helping you with the caregiving.  I just want you to know that no matter where you are, what you think you are - good or bad, or what you feel like ---- YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.  There is likely someone out there feeling the same way....just as there is likely someone out there wanting to help.


Always remember and never forget - you are NEVER ALONE.


Stay tuned for my first blog post.  This was just an introduction.....


Much love,


Debbie